Paint My Spirit Gold
by Mandy of the Amoeba
Summary: SPOILERS for The Name of The Doctor. Post-episode for River.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Major spoilers for The Name of The Doctor. Don't read if you haven't seen it._

_Inspired by this one line from the episode:_

"_...say it like you're going to come back."_

_Title is taken from Mumford and Sons' song "I Will Wait"_

* * *

There were tears when she awoke.

They tracked down the side of her face at an angle, and she could almost still feel the brush of his thumbs against her cheeks where he had tilted her face up to his. She sat up in her too-bright bedroom; conference calls in the data core were not much different than they would have been in real life, so she had lain down to sleep on top of the covers in the middle of the afternoon when she'd received Vastra's summons.

There were two chairs and a small table by the window; the table contained two cups, steam still wafting up from them, and one of the chairs contained Charlotte, who waited with a calm that didn't match her young features. River's eyes met those of the girl for a long moment, then she closed them.

It felt like a dream, the realest dream she'd ever had, more real than any of the nightmares she had been so tormented by in her long life. How horribly bitter it was that his reality was now no more than dream fabric to her! But the tears were still drying on her face, and she could still taste his lips...

"He spoke to you."

It wasn't a question. River opened her eyes to look at Charlotte again, took a deep breath, and nodded. "He did, yes."

She planted her feet on the floor, standing a little unsteadily and moving to sit in the empty chair. Seeing no need to wait any longer, Charlotte took her own teacup into her hands and sipped at it delicately before speaking again.

"He's going to come back, isn't he?"

The words nearly knocked the breath out of her. It was no secret to Charlotte that the most secret dream River had held onto, the most buried hope she had, was that he would join her someday. She had always tried to tell herself that there was no reason to hope for that; how could she expect him to retire here? She doubted he would ever retire at all. So long in the Library she had waited for him to come, waited for him to contact her the way Vastra had, hoped and wished and prayed that even if he wouldn't join her, even if he couldn't, he would at least say goodbye. But now, after seeing him, after hearing Charlotte ask the questions...she knew he would do more than that. He would come back.

Overcome, River buried her face in her hands, pulling in a deep breath to steady herself...but her palms still held traces of his scent, and she sank from the chair into the floor with a muffled sob.

"River!" Charlotte was no longer the calm, wise-beyond-her-years computer mind; in an instant, she was on the floor beside River, small hands smoothing at the fabric of the older woman's shoulder somewhat frantically. "River, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please don't cry!" she pleaded, voice growing higher in pitch.

Drawing in a shaky breath, River moved her hands from her face to wrap them around the little girl, pressing kisses onto her brown hair. Charlotte pulled away enough to look up at River's face with the sort of apologetic expression only a wounded child can give. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked-"

"He is," River interrupted, voice thick with tears. "He is, Charlotte, he is."

And suddenly she was laughing, and Charlotte was laughing, and the strange pair laughed themselves breathless in the floor of a bedroom in a house that existed only in memory. Because no matter how long it would take, she knew she could wait for him now.

River Song was exceptionally good at waiting for the Doctor. It ran in the family.


	2. Chapter 2

In quiet moments alone, she daydreamed of him.

She kept busy, of course. There was a peace to the Library now that hadn't been there before; she had real hope now, not just wishful thinking, and it allowed her to live a fuller life there. She enjoyed taking care of the children, enjoyed wandering through the books, enjoyed having tea with her team. Enjoyed imagining his return.

There were favorite scenarios she had dreamt up. Most of the time, she would be doing something mundane: gardening or reading in the sun or sipping lemonade on the grass while the children played. The best ones always took place outside, in that same bright sunlight that had been present when she had first entered the data core. She would turn around, and there he'd be, smiling that boyish-yet-knowing smile at him. Sometimes he would speak before she saw him; sometimes one of the children would see him first and gleefully point him out.

"_Hi, honey. I'm home." _

And she would walk to him, or run to him, wrap her arms around him and kiss him soundly. They had been blessed with so many beautiful moments in their time together; it wasn't unrealistic for her dreams of his return to be like something out of a fairy tale. They were all fairy tales in the end, weren't they?

Then again, he never did anything as expected.

She shouldn't have been surprised to hear a crash and a muffled 'ow' come from the kitchen in the middle of the night. The children had been asleep for over an hour; her first thought was that one of them had snuck downstairs for something, but when she cracked the door to their room open, they were all just as she had left them. Before River closed the door, Charlotte opened her eyes and smiled knowingly before closing them again.

River's heart caught in her throat, and she stared at Charlotte for a moment longer before shutting the door quietly. She padded quickly down the stairs and stopped at the foot for a moment; a light glowed suddenly from the kitchen, followed by the sound of broken glass being carefully picked up, a quiet, steady _clink...clink...clink_ that echoed in the otherwise still house. As softly as she could, she crept towards the kitchen.

He was crouched on the floor with his back to her, his shoulders encased in the brown tweed she was used to rather than the dark purple she'd last seen him in, and her breath stilled for a moment at the sight. He had apparently knocked a vase of flowers off the table, breaking it at the neck; the bottom was in one hand, and he was gingerly filling it, scavenging for broken pieces among the water and scattered stems on the floor. As she watched, he turned in a circle, still crouched, so that the movement was reminiscent of a duck waddling, and she couldn't help herself; she laughed out loud, then put her hand to her mouth to stifle herself.

The Doctor straightened up quickly, surprised, then sheepish. "Oops," he said, glancing at the pile of glass in his hand before quickly setting it down on the table and brushing his hand off gently on his trousers. He stepped over the flowers still littering the tile, then looked back up at her, a soft smile playing around his face. He took a deep breath before holding his arms wide.

"Hi, honey. I'm home."

River opened her mouth, intent on responding with her customary _'and what sort of time do you call this?'_, but found she couldn't speak. Tears welled in her eyes suddenly, and she rushed forward, closing the gap between them in the space of two heartbeats and kissing him hungrily. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, lifting her onto her tiptoes and holding her to him, intent on never letting go again.

Later on, as she lay curled against his side in what would be _their_ bed from then on, her head resting on his chest as he lazily stroked his fingers through her hair, she would smile to herself. It hadn't been at all like she dreamt it...but that didn't make the moment any less beautiful.


End file.
